Me in 2009, the day I took my motorcycle license test
June 23 will mark 5 years since I was in my scooter accident. If you want to read about the accident and recovery, click on the links. But really, that's old news, and it's mostly me just complaining about things.
I've been in a lot of pain since then. Every day. But honestly, there are times since then that I have had thoughts like, "It's been 5 years. Shouldn't I be better by now? Why does my back still hurt? Is this all in my head? Does my back just hurt because I'm not taking a pain killer right now? Am I a hypochondriac?"
Well, I finally had an MRI done on my back today. Five years later, and I'm finally having an MRI. Haha. It took me long enough!
I kept my eyes closed when they slid me into that tiny little MRI tunnel. I just pretended that the light in front of my eyelids was the sun and I was lying on a beach. I also listened to some relaxing music on Pandora. It really wasn't too bad at all.
The results of the MRI are really interesting. Seriously, I was a bit nervous that they wouldn't find anything and they would confirm my fears that it's all in my head. But the pictures are fascinating and you can see very clearly exactly what is causing my pain. I'd post a picture... but... nah.
So the bad news? I am still in pain.
But the good news? It's not in my head. There is a legitimate reason why I feel this way. And help is on the way.
I've vetted out a good pain clinic. With my dad's history of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse, I am very, very cautious about pain medication. (Even to the point that my doctor has said, "Kate, you don't need to be in pain all the time. You can take more.") But I constantly fear I will develop a habit and end up in rehab like my dad did multiple times. I discussed this fear (probably in annoying detail) to my family doctor and he assured me that this pain clinic is a conservative one and they will try many different things before just throwing drugs at the problem. So that makes me feel OK about going... at least a few times. I can always stop going if I get uncomfortable. And since I've managed the pain this long without anything really heavy-duty, I think it's time that I can trust myself that I won't go wild on pain killers. I feel good about moving in this direction.
Just thought I'd write this little update since people still ask me all the time how my back is after breaking it in 2010. Thanks, friends!